Messenger Audio 31.2 (7-Jan-1983)

Dowry must be paid before marriage. Divorce utterance out of anger is not valid. Cooling-off period is 4 months. Physical separation - 3 menstruations. Getting around these laws only deceives yourselv

(0:00) you have to be paid before the marriage. (0:12) If you can't add that knowledge to your later on down the line, that's it. (0:16) There's no more down the line. It has to be done before the marriage. (0:32) If you can't add that knowledge to your later on down the line, that's it, that's it, that's (0:44) it means a couple that has been divorced and the woman discovers that she is pregnant (0:47) In that case she tells the ex-husband and he decides him to tell him that he wants to reconcile. (0:53) The woman hates his guts. She doesn't want to go back to him (1:01) So the Qur'ān is saying, in this case, she should give up her feelings and force herself to reconcile for the sake of the baby. (1:13) And God will make it up to her in that case. It's a commandment. (1:18) So I'm just exaggerating the situation. Is this what you understood? (1:25) Yes, in the case of divorce in three times, does that mean a verbal declaration of divorce in one woman? (1:34) You're going to say, I divorced you, I divorced you, I divorced you, and so on. (1:38) Does that mean that you can marry the same woman after divorcing her up until the third time? (1:45) Divorce can mean twice. (1:49) But the verbal affirmation, the verbal affirmation, are you in trouble at the moment? (2:00) I may be, I may be. I will, I will. (2:07) I'm just kidding. (2:11) A verbal utterance in anger does not count. (2:16) If you say it in anger, you're fighting and arguing, it doesn't count when you're just angry and you say you divorce. (2:26) That's not divorce. (2:29) Divorce, you have to come to a conclusion that your life together is not working, and really you must part, and so forth. (2:37) So then you break apart, and she goes to her mother, and you live apart, that's divorce. (2:48) But in anger, people say, put their anger, but it doesn't mean divorce. (2:55) Actually, it takes thinking. (3:02) Right, right. In other words it takes, thinking and conviction. (3:22) No? (3:26) The 226, the waiting period, the cooling off period is four months before you make the final decision. (3:34) And after the four months, you can say, go through with it, or you say, no, we're going to reconcile. (3:40) And God, God loves that, to reconcile. (3:43) What is the interim? (3:47) From the time of separation. (3:50) It's to clear the, whether there's pregnancy, whether it is the first husband or the new husband. (3:59) The interim starts from the time of separation, physical separation. (4:06) If there are three menstruations, the interim is three menstruations. (4:11) Then the woman is sure there is no baby from the previous husband. (4:17) But the determining factor here is the moment of separation. (4:22) Widow has to wait four months and ten days. (4:26) Widow. (4:27) This is the official mourning period in Quran. (4:34) Mourning, mourning. (4:37) The minimum mourning. (4:39) Mourning, sadness, period of sadness. (4:44) A minimum period of honoring the dead brother. (4:51) You have a question about the dowry? (4:53) Yes, regarding the dowry, is there any minimum limit for the dowry? (4:57) Or if the dowry, if the dowry has to be in money, it can be anything. (5:03) Anything of value. (5:04) Well, if there is no limit in the dowry, (5:09) if the woman comes to her husband and says, (5:13) you are my slave entire life, what can you do? (5:16) He agrees. (5:20) As long as the two of them agree. (5:25) As long as they both agree on that. (5:40) Does he have a question? (6:00) *someone asks question* (6:12) that's a hadith (6:35) The price of a wife in Libya now is $60,000. (6:38) Why? (6:39) Why is it that way? (6:42) How did you know? (6:43) How did you know? (6:44) How did you know this thing happened? (6:45) You have to know, Linda (6:50) Like that $2, don't you think? (7:04) In Saudi Arabia, it's $100,000 now. (7:08) $100,000? (7:09) Yes. (7:10) That's how much it costs to live in Libya? (7:11) In American money? (7:13) Yes. (7:13) And it's a nasty month. (7:15) The King issued (7:21) The king issued a decree to lower the dowry (7:24) because the Saudi men were going outside of Saudi Arabia to get married. (7:43) And as a matter of fact, (7:45) as a matter of fact, (7:49) sometimes they will say, (7:51) OK, we'll accept $10,000 if you sign a $1,000,000 note (7:57) in case of divorce. (7:59) So this will force the husband-to-be never to divorce his wife. (8:04) There are all kinds of claims about that. (8:06) But there are laws that are stated in the Quran very clearly. (8:12) They call it advance and arrears. (8:15) But it has to be between the man and the woman who marries, right? (8:19) But over there, in Turkey, it's handled by the parents of the man and woman. (8:24) Everything, yeah. (8:35) OK, we have five more minutes for questions. (8:38) We're going to stop right here. (8:39) These are the divorce laws that seem very clear, (8:42) self-explanatory, and very detailed. (8:44) I have another question. (8:46) Yeah. (8:47) Why did you not divorce in 1964 or 1965? (9:04) Because these are the widows. (9:07) Yes, in 1964 and 1965. (9:11) Yeah, it does. (9:13) It's connected with the widows. (9:17) You're in trouble out there, man. (9:21) About the divorce, yeah. (9:25) I heard in some, some, you know, (9:30) in France there's many people doing the divorce. (9:32) Divorce is three times. (9:38) That's not divorce (9:40) That's one, if he means it. (9:43) If he thought about it, he'd have to wait four months (9:46) before the decision is final. (9:54) The idea is that a man and a woman are married (9:58) and the marriage doesn't work, so they go apart. (10:01) Then they reconcile and they live together for a while (10:06) and then it doesn't work out, so they break apart. (10:09) That's two. (10:10) Then they say, well, let's try again. (10:12) And they reconcile and they're together for another year (10:16) and then they break apart. (10:17) So God is saying, you guys are not good for each other. (10:20) I want to try somebody else. (10:22) So the fourth time she has to marry somebody else. (10:26) And of course, there are lots of movies about this (10:28) in the Middle East, because (10:30) nothing in real life and in movies that (10:35) there's a couple that they had three divorces (10:38) and now she has to marry somebody else (10:40) according to the Quranic law. (10:42) So they say, okay, let's go out in the street (10:44) and find some drunk (10:46) bot or something and get him to marry, (10:49) marry you and then (10:53) and this will fulfill the requirements. (10:55) So they go out in the street and find the first (10:58) transient (10:59) or some bum (11:00) sitting on the sidewalk or something. (11:03) They bring him in and (11:04) they bring this judge and (11:05) he marries the (11:08) the divorcee (11:09) and of course, they are guarding him all night (11:12) to make sure that he's not too messy (11:14) and he can marry. (11:16) Now the movies (11:18) the movies come in where (11:19) this bum all of a sudden becomes very smart (11:22) and he says, no, I'm not a divorcee. (11:24) She's my wife. (11:26) And then all the problems arise from there. (11:29) The movie goes on and on. (11:31) But it does happen in real life, I think. (11:34) But you know, if this rule (11:37) goes for the woman too, if (11:41) man dies, that usually the case that the woman (11:47) let's say that the woman died, the man (11:49) has to go four months, ten days. (11:52) It doesn't account for that. (11:54) The man doesn't get pregnant. (11:56) No, no, no, this is about (12:01) He has to clear the (12:04) any baby. (12:07) You have to know who the father is. (12:10) I thought it was about the mourning. (12:22) The man doesn't have to (12:24) In fact, the man can have ten other wives on the side. (12:43) I must go back and talk (12:45) and mention that those people who (12:47) try to deceive, get around the (12:49) Quranic laws are only deceiving themselves. (12:53) Because you must follow God's commandments (12:55) out of conviction. (12:58) Don't try to get around it. (13:02) Okay, if there are no more questions (13:04) I'm just going to pray Isha. (13:06) We're all going to (13:08) go.